Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
