omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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