Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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