I hope mine doesn't look like that
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
