I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
