No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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