I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
