i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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