Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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