i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
