She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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