Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
