Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
