your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
