I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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