i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
