Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
