hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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