I must be too annoying 4 u.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
