My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
