Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
