I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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