How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I need moral support for this bender
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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