4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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