Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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