You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
