there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
