this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
