Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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