I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Found your dick twin last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
