its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im having a threesome with these popsicles
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
