So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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