you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.