you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
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it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?