I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.