yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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