champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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