i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
