SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
