Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
