i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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