Dude my mom stole all your condoms
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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