official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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