I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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