this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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