And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
