Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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