apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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