I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
