he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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