AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
