So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
