so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
