no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
