apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
