those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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