ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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