Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale