I should be sponsored by Trojan
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.