Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

how was the sex?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

(618): View more from Illinois

well, there's that.

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(618): how was the sex? (1-618): he smelled like pickles and burnt hair. (618): well, there's that. http://tfl.nu/wrio

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(708): View more from Illinois

i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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(708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt

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(206): View more from Washington

sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before

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(206): sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before http://tfl.nu/9maa

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.

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(860): Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium. http://tfl.nu/ptz9

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(518): View more from New York

The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?

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(518): The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right? http://tfl.nu/odtd

Replies (25) Good night (10053) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.

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(708): If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal. http://tfl.nu/hb9y

Replies (19) Good night (4524) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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(703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day. http://tfl.nu/0otc

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(415): View more from California

Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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(415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub

Replies (7) Good night (4719) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

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(773): Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years. http://tfl.nu/9eix

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(707): View more from California

then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

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(707): then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure" http://tfl.nu/54yc

Replies (15) Good night (1204) Bad night (3728) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages

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(815): I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages http://tfl.nu/m114

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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(281): I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car. http://tfl.nu/4osg

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?

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(303): Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself? http://tfl.nu/1puu

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(520): View more from Arizona

Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.

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(520): Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it. http://tfl.nu/2ax3

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(419): View more from Ohio

don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties

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(419): don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties http://tfl.nu/ivn3

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