Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
