I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
