do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
