The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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