their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
