The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize