I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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