I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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