you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
